Who changes their name upon marriage/civil partnership?
By Laura L. Paterson
I did not change my name
upon marriage. However, it was interesting to see just how many people thought that they
could question my decision and/or change my mind. Some of the most most surprising reactions to my choice came from loose acquaintances who assumed that they had some sort of say in my decision. For example, an (unmarried, female) extended-family-member-of-a-friend lambasted
my husband for not making me change my name.
There were also logistical issues:
my husband and I had to tell our wedding guests that if they wrote us a cheque,
it had to be made out to our existing surnames otherwise the bank wouldn’t cash
it. Furthermore, when completing legal documentation for a family member’s
will, my father asked me to spell my surname. Initially thinking that he was
joking – we share the same surname and people consistently spell it wrong –
I began spelling out my surname letter by letter. He stopped me and said ‘no, no, no, how do you spell Mackintosh’? It turned out that, even though my
father knew I had kept my surname, he assumed that because I was married I was
legally ‘Mrs Mackintosh’. Based on these experiences, I decided to look at how entrenched
the idea that a woman changes her name upon marriage is within UK legal
procedures.
According to the UK Deed
Poll service (2009), ‘Contrary to popular belief, a woman’s surname does not
automatically change to her husband’s surname upon marriage’. However, whilst
most surname changes in the UK are performed using a Deed Poll, for a woman to
change her name to her husband’s does not require this process to take place, as
it is seen as the woman choosing to ‘follow tradition’. A Deed Poll is likely
to be required though when a woman chooses to double-barrel her name. But what is
extremely interesting is that, if both husband and wife are double-barrelling, it is economically sensible for the husband to pay for a Deed
Poll to change his surname before the wedding ceremony so that the wife can
take this double-barrelled name upon their union without charge/Deed Poll: ‘the
cost of a second Deed Poll (for your wife) can be avoided if you change your
surname by Deed Poll to your double-barrelled surname before you marry’ (UK
Deed Poll Service 2006). However, this practice does not work the other way
around. If a wife-to-be double-barrels her surname before the wedding, her
husband will still need a Deed Poll to double-barrel his. Thus, the legal
system for name changes is asymmetrical. It is not set up for a husband to take
his wife’s surname. Further evidence of this asymmetry is that the UK Deed Poll Service has web pages devoted
to women changing their names upon separation/divorce/widowhood, but no
corresponding pages for men. Thus, there is a clear assumption that men don’t (wish to) change their names.
The UK Deed Poll website
harbours lots of assumptions about women and men. For example, it is stated
that ‘most women are happy to take their husband’s surname upon marriage’ and
‘you will probably want to change your title to Mrs’ (UK Deed Poll service
2009). Taking the positions of ‘no I’m not happy’ and/or ‘no I don’t want to change my title’ is extremely
difficult here as such statements reject the status quo established on the service's website. When discussing males changing their names,
it is suggested that a man could take his ‘wife’s surname as one of your middle
names’ (not as a surname) and that ‘Such a gesture may be greatly appreciated’
(UK Deed Poll service 2006). This construction of a name change as a ‘gesture’
suggests that a man would only change his name upon marriage to placate his
wife who, presumably, has changed her surname.
In terms of civil
partnerships (the UK Deed Poll Service has not yet updated its pages to address
same-sex marriage), if one person takes the other’s surname, then no Deed Poll
is needed (UK Deed Poll Service 2010). When double-barrelling, it is also
advised that one person changes their name before the ceremony to avoid the
cost of two Deed Polls (2010), although, for obvious reasons, there is no
mention here of which partner is expected to change their name before the
ceremony. At least here, the laws are gender-neutral. But it is still assumed
that ‘Most female civil partners want to change their title from either Miss to
Ms or from Miss or Ms to Mrs’ although it is noted that ‘Mrs is traditionally
the title used by married women’ (UK Deed Poll service 2010). This presupposes
that Mrs is not the only available title to lesbian couples, and implies that the label
Mrs may not apply to them in the same way that it applies to heterosexual
women. Again, there is no mention of men changing their names, reflecting the
asymmetry in English titles (Mr vs. Miss, Mrs or Ms).
Traditional patriarchal norms are enshrined in current UK surname change processes, with women presented as being much more likely to change their surnames and/or titles upon marriage/civil partnership than men. Such norms can lead to the assumption that all women will change their name upon union. Indeed, it was such as assumption that led to relative strangers objecting to my choice to keep my own surname, whilst not a single person asked my partner why he was not changing his. This related notion - that men do not change their surnames - is clearly reflected in the Deed Poll process. Any men wishing to change their surnames (with the exception of those entering into civil partnerships/same-sex marriage, as discussed above) will have more administrative work to do than women. Thus, there is clearly disparity
in how the law treats men and women upon marriage/civil partnership.
References
UK
Deed Poll Service. 2009. A woman’s name change rights and options upon
marriage. Online. Available at:
http://www.deedpoll.org.uk/AWomansRightsUponMarriage.html. Accessed 10/03/2015.
UK
Deed Poll Service. 2006. A man’s name change rights and options upon marriage.
Online. Available at: http://www.deedpoll.org.uk/AMansRightsUponMarriage.html.
Accessed 10/03/2015.
UK
Deed Poll Service. 2010. A couple’s name change rights and options upon a civil
partnership. Online. Available at:
http://www.deedpoll.org.uk/ACouplesRightsUponACivilPartnership.html. Accessed
10/03/2015.
